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The sad moment when you realize how alone you actually are. No one ever messages you first or texts you first or anything. So it gets to the point where you don’t want to put in the effort with people who don’t put in any effort for you, so you end up spending your life at home, never going anywhere.

Have You Ever?

Have you ever had these random thoughts that weren’t your own in your head and were pretty out there and scary? Two nights ago I had that experience and it’s not pleasant. I don’t know how to cope with it and since I’m a Christian I’ve been praying a whole lot about it. This is what happened. While I was drifting off to sleep I have these tendencies to day dream about my favorite fictional character ( this time it was Legolas Greenleaf from The Lord of The Rings) to pass the time before I drift off into dream world. Then suddenly these dark thoughts appeared out of nowhere. They were like commands or something. They were this: “Kill Kelly Ann German. Do it” this person is a real person and is my next door neighbor. We are on friendly terms and we get a long well. I would never do such a thing. It’s just not in my nature. I’m literally freaked out about this. Like why would I ever do such a thing? I’ve only told two people about it: God and my dad. If I told my mom she would be scared about this and I don’t want to do that to her. I feel as if I’m being attacked by Satin and my faith in God being tested. I dunno what to do and today Satin fought so hard to keep me from going to church. But he lost that battle and I’m glad he did cause this sermon is what I felt like I needed to hear. I could use some prayers as I struggle with this.

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